Saturday, April 20, 2013

The best most rewarding not- job ever!!

So I think it is so great that not only do I get to start out my week hugging and playing with the sweetest kids evers, BUT I get to start almost everyday that way! My worries, heartaches and troubles just slide themselves out of view while I am with them. I'm gonna brag on them and their mama for a minute. 

Kylee is almost 5! She can be such a lady, but she definitely knows how to play hard. We always have activities to do or forts to build and she makes sure that we are constantly busy doing the most important things that keep us active and happy. Ky is my biggest helper. She can be very independent but there are times when I know she wants to cuddle. Other times she craves one- on -one attention, when that occurs we paint nails, read books, sing, dance, get ready for ballet, make smoothies, and giggle the entire time! She is the cutest coolest kid and I make sure she knows that everyday. Sometimes she doesn't have all of the confidence that I wish she did, but she trusts in my confidence in her and tries things anyway. This is one rockin' kid! She has this intuition about her younger siblings feelings that is much needed at times. I know that she sometimes doesn't desire to do the things I ask her to do, but she does them anyway, most of the times without complaint. Even with all of these things there is still so much to this young beauty! I can't get enough of her. She teaches me.

Emmery is a fireball! She has so many emotions and she openly shares them with everyone. This white blond, green-eyed two year old is a giggle queen! She is content doing whatever I am doing or copy-catting her big sis. She is so quick to forgive follies against her. The house is not quiet for long because she is singing and talking to everybody. Emmy is a major cuddle bug. She will pick up her pink blanket and just reach up and say "I wanna hold you Bina". How can I say no to her? Often times I prepare lunch and activities one- handed because she wants to always be included and held up to see what is going on usually above her head. Talk about a child that loves learning! She picks up on new words and concepts at the speed of light! She asks me "What DAT?" and then smiles when she receives her answer, immediately repeating so as to understand best. I could spend hours with her simply strolling around town telling her about the world, to her it is a happy place with opportunity. She teaches me. 

Triston "Tray Tray" is the baby boy that I want to stare at for hours! When he smiles his nose crunches up and he shows how many teeth he has. I especially love the way his eyes get to look of absolute joy. This tiny man has my heart. He gives me hugs and kisses and is my little side kick. His long hair is messy along with his clothes after spending hours in the sand, often times just sitting there contemplating the feeling of dumping handfuls of the gritty substance on every reachable inch of himself. He is such a little chatter box, not able to form all of his words correctly I talk to him about everything under the sun and he gives me his opinion. He is definitely opinionated and makes sure that I know when things are not going his way. He loves to eat, I feel bad though because half of his food ends up under his bum in his high chair. He loves exploring, finding new thing to taste, and watching his sisters. His life revolves around simplicity. He teaches me. 

Last but not even close to least these children have the most amazing mom! She is motivated and determined. She places them above all else. She has the absolutely best interest at the forefront of her mind. She works so hard, I can see that she is working to create her own happiness. She is so welcoming and I am honored to share in her life and the lives of her babies. She is smart and she uses her mind to educate her kids. Above all else I know that she is loved. All three of her little miracles can't go one day without asking about her while she is working. She is my role model for future parenting. You rock Amber!! 

Sunday, April 14, 2013

My Best Day So Far: Singing in the Morning!

Step 1: Go to bed early
Step 2: Wake up early
Step 3: Pray out loud on my knees
Step 4-1,000,000: SING!

My favorite part about true friends is that they know instinctively when I am in need. And vice versa I can have that insight into my deep relationships as well! Emotional connections are intriguing to me. The people I choose to surround myself with have such great an influence on me, I also wish to support them and treat them with the same love as they show me.

Example #1....
I am a happy person, it's just the way God made me and I love it! However sometimes I drive myself into ruts. Real real large ones where I still think my giant arm, back, and leg muscles can push myself out but in reality I need either a handful of others helping, or a truck. A couple of weeks ago I was in said rut pushing away when out of no where this truck that I didn't even call for just showed up. Not only was the truck attached to my car but along with it 6 young men began shoving me from the sludgy mess of a hole I was in. What the?? Who were these people that just HAPPENED to know where I was, and HAPPENED to have a truck, and HAPPENED to have just the right amount of force to drag me out of the mud. Directly following the initial "save" I expected them to leave the way they came. Again to my amazement, the did not. They then proceeded to hose down my griminess, the water was warm and soothing. They supplied new comfortable clothing, I soon became aware of their shining faces. They possessed a light, not one that can be seen by merely glancing at them. No, they shone with power that can only come from Him. 

These Priesthood holders hold in the highest regard their sacred authority and I am so grateful to them.  

Example #2....
There is a friend of mine who I so dear to my heart. We have played and smiled together for freaking evers! A couple of days I realized that the people I most counted on for support did not have the encouraging words or actions for me anymore, except her. This friend who is struggling with her own difficulties opened up her and extended her arms of safety to me. I was healed. She also found a safe harbor in me which brought us even closer together than we have ever been, no matter the distance. It has been 9 months since I have had the blessing of being by her side, but I know soon I will see her and it will be better than ever.

Happiness is a choice. Fake it until you make it. Service, gratitude, obedience, charity, hope, and faith will never let you down. Those things are building blocks for happiness and joy. 


Sunday, April 7, 2013


Recently I have been immensely humbled by the circumstances of others. To the world I am real. So real in fact that I have been told to STOP sharing. But you know what? I will never quit. I am a fighter, and I can be dangerous.

5 individual, unique girls co-existing in an apartment. How is it I ask that each has had a similar experience in recent history to one degree or another? 

She was just standing there, "Are you alright?" "No. No, I'm not alright"
She cried. They all had at one point. One most likely more than all combined, but she didn't let on. 
Heart shattered.
Words to bring solace. 
The desire to cry out to heaven.
The desire for the ability to take away someone else's agency.
The desire to go back. To shift reality.
The desire to say "I'm so deeply sorry" one million times, and to make it matter.
The desire to be accepted when acceptance is all that was ever given. 
The desire to run.
The desire to separate happiness and horror.

All desires. 

The desire to lay claim to His gift for me.